Having Backups Means You've Made It

My epiphany about what makes someone a true "adult"

At 38 years old, I feel myself still looking for the adult in the room.

Even though I have a fucking kid now.

Even though I’m married to someone five years my senior.

Even though I’ve been financially independent since my 20s.

Even though I’ve been making my own doctor appointments since college.

Even though I’m two years from 40.

You’d think that pushing a human out of my own body and keeping it alive the last 8.5 months would be what made me realize I’m not just playing an adult on TV anymore, but it wasn’t the thing.

What truly made me realize I am a responsible, grown ass woman prepared for just about anything is having backups.

Let me elaborate.

I, like so many young things, flew by the seat of my pants for forever. I would get exactly one tube of toothpaste, one 8-count of toilet paper, one coffee creamer at the store; I always got just enough of whatever the thing was. And, because of this, I was perpetually caught off-guard when the one would run out, and I’d huff and puff as my made my way to the store to buy one more.

Not having backups always had me scrambling, but I was good with the scramble. I had time for the scramble. I was young and carefree and had little to no responsibilities, so if the biggest inconvenience I had that day was having to go get some more toothpaste, so be it.

Growing up, Ellen made sure the house was stockpiled with backups. We never wanted for more toilet paper, a fresh roll of paper towels, or an extra box of Wheat Thins when the first one ran out (she had (and still has) at least three boxes on reserve at all times). On a lazy summer Saturday when we were famished from swimming and made our way into the house looking for food, we were typically greeted by chips and THE DIP only to realize we were at the end of a bag with just the tiny crushed pieces left. But we never panicked, because we knew that the Niño (Ellen. El Niño. Yeah, I know she’s a woman but I don’t make nickname rules) always had another bag of tortilla chips stuffed deep into the wicker baskets that occupied the pantry floor (and still do).

We were living the dream but were ignorant to it. Even in my adulthood, I would visit my parents house and laugh at the THREE COFFEE CREAMERS in the fridge. It just seemed so unnecessary. Why do you need THREE? Do you really go through them that fast? Can’t you just run up the street next time you realize you’re low and grab some more? Is it really that imperative you have a two backups and a backup to the backups?

What a fool I was. An absolute fool.

Because let me tell you something — having a backup creamer in the fridge is a godsend. When it’s 8am and you have a baby and aren’t a morning person and the only thing getting you out of bed (besides your baby’s smile upon seeing you) is a guaranteed perfect cup of homemade coffee with your favorite creamer until you realize through bleary eyes that you have one drop left? That’s hell, my friends. Hell on Earth.

In fact, it’s that exact moment that changed me for good. I only needed that to happen one time to finally understand my mother’s backup habit after all these years.

Now, I have backups to the backups in all categories. I don’t just buy one 6-pack of paper towels; I buy an 18-pack. I don’t throw just one sleeve of napkins in the cart; I throw 3. I don’t stop at one package of toilet paper; I get 4. (It’s a lot of paper goods…)

At all times, I have two creamers. Two milks. Four packs of unsalted butter (because you never know when the urge to bake will strike). If something we use is offered in a MEGA size, I buy it (dryer sheets, diapers, VALUE SIZE hair and skincare containers, etc). Because I’ve realized, as an adult, that I don’t have time to putter over to Target for the sole purpose of purchasing exactly one Coffeemate Sugar Free Hazelnut coffee creamer. Every trip I take must be more than worth my while, and I see to it now that it is. If that means three CMSFHCC, so be it (and it be).

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Love and backups,

EGM