If you don't have anything nice to say, say it anyway.

I give you permission.

I love to complain.

It’s not that I’m entitled

or spoiled

or ungrateful.

It’s that I’m human.

And, more than that, I’m an honest human.

I have never been a people pleaser, that much is for sure.

You’ll never find me appeasing someone or something out of fear of being disliked or upsetting the apple cart, so to speak.

But I’m not an instigator either. I don’t look for or purposely cause trouble.

It’s just that I’m not afraid to complain.

And, in this day and age (see: social media), complaints are a daring thing to share. No matter what it’s about, it seems if you share your real feelings on just about anything, you get dogged on.

Maybe it’s just me (I know it isn’t), but it feels like no matter what the situation is—even if it’s objectively shitty and annoying—there’s an unspoken pressure to always try to find the silver lining or put on your rose-colored glasses or check whatever semblance of privilege you may appear to have at the proverbial door.

But that’s called toxic positivity, babe. And we aren’t doing that anymore.

I’ve often wondered if my penchant for “saying what everyone else is thinking” is why I’ve never been more popular online, or why I don’t have that elusive mass appeal. While I’m generally a positive, playful, not serious type of person, I don’t exist online to pretend everything is peachy keen 24/7.

I’m not a cozy girlie or a poetic girlie.

I don’t feel the need to make everything I share vibey or aesthetically pleasing.

I’m not who you come to when you need an escape.

I’m the online friend who gives you real feedback about any number of topics while it seems the greater majority of people are busy curating a can’t-we-all-just-get-along kind of vibe that’s wholly approachable and painstakingly agreeable on all fronts.

That just isn’t me, and if it isn’t you either, hi — I see you. And you can complain to me.

It’s why I used to have a segment on my podcast called Pettiest Pet Peeves, where listeners would call or write in to air their generally non-sensical grievances with the world at large, and guess what? They were some of my most popular episodes because people love to complain and not be openly judged for it.

This is something I have to remind some of my closest friends, that it’s okay to complain especially if you’re complaining to me. Whatever it is you’re griping about, even if it’s the most privileged thing in the world, let it out. Put it in the proverbial Burn Book, sweetie. Mama’s allowing it. I love that shit.

A perfect example of this is pregnant women complaining about pregnancy. If anyone is going to be triggered by this category of complaints right now, it’s me (and you, if you can relate to me). How dare they complain, you might expect me to think. At least they are pregnant. They should shut their mouths and be grateful, always.

Absolutely not, sis.

Regardless of what I’ve experienced during my conception journey, it will never be lost on me that actually being with child is fucking hard. And tiring. And nauseating. And heavy. And all the things. In fact, as much as I can’t wait to experience it, I also know I will complain. And I’ll probably be judged for complaining about something I wanted so badly.

But to that I say—I’m only human. And to be human is to complain.

Of course, all this said, there’s a stark difference between complaining and whining; the former needs to be done in a tone that’s both approachable and relatable. Humorous, even. The latter, no one wants to hear, no matter how you put it. Example: Complaining to your partner about the terrible service you endured at a restaurant once you’ve left said restaurant—fine! Great, even. A bonding moment. However, whining to the waiter during the meal and making it uncomfortable for everyone involved—not so great. Terrible, really.

Anyway, I hope you complain this weekend because what is a long holiday weekend without it?

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The 📖📺🎧🔪🛍️ List

Now for the list.

READING 📖

I am over halfway through a completely random novel I picked up in a North Carolina bookstore back in July called gods with a little g. It’s a coming-of-age story set in present-day in a overzealous religious town that focuses on a group of misfits who refer to themselves as the “Dickheads,” and it’s absolutely fabulous. I haven’t read a novel like this in too long; it’s not a romcom. It’s not a mystery. It’s not historical. It’s about the lust, loss, and I’ve-gotta-get-out-of-this-town of it all as a teenager, and I love it. I’ll give my full review when I’m done!

WATCHING 📺

Back in 2007-2008, the only shows I actively watched were The Office and Lost. I was in the throes of college (peak college, I might add. I was 20/21) and had little time to keep up with TV series when there was beer to be drunk and libraries to pretend to be studying in. Therefore, I remember the title Pushing Daisies, but it’s not a show I had ever watched until recently.

Zac found it on HBO Max, and y’all — it is literally the most adorable, perfect show. I had no idea? We needed something light and happy, which seems to be a tall order nowadays when it comes to TV, and this is gonna make me sound old, but they truly don’t make shows like this anymore. If you’re like me and never watched it, the general gist is the main character has the power to bring the dead back to life but there are consequences. This show is beautiful (and so are the protagonists, my god), colorful, happy, light, quirky, and funny. Sadly, there are only two seasons because it didn’t survive the writer’s strike of 2008, so we’re trying to move through it slowly but, damn… it’s magical.

MAKING 🔪

I love meat, so it’s rare that I’ll make a vegetarian dish but these sweet potato black bean bowls from Skinny Taste or to die for. Every element of them is fantastic, and the flavors all work together so well. Highly recommend them!

I also highly recommend checking out this Caesar Salad with Grilled Salmon that’s been on my blog for YEARS but still slaps. The dressing is so good, and you can absolutely use plain Dijon mustard if you don’t wanna go to the seeded route.

SHOPPING 🛍️

Three things to alert you to today, and then we’re off to the long weekend!

These lululemon t-shirts are pretty perfect for working out. I have tried so hard to go the cheaper route with Amazon dupes, but they just don’t offer the same quality and, for as much as I workout, I’m willing to invest in the right gear. I love the sleeves and length on these (NOT cropped) tees and take them in a size 8.

I got this incredible jumpsuit by Pistola when we were visiting Zac’s family in Atlanta a few weekends ago. I tried it on at this little boutique and fell in love fast. I love the adjustable cinch waist so you can tighten or loosen depending on the day, and it looks so fucking cute with a tight white tee or tank underneath it. I’m saving it to wear when the temperature here drops below 90º, so it may be a while but I wanted to share it with you all. It’s also on Revolve in more sizes! I took a medium.

I have broad shoulders, so if a denim jacket isn’t exactly right on me, it’s not cute. Therefore, I’m sort of making a shift toward denim shirts this season. This chambray shirt from Anthro is one of the softest things I’ve ever owned and it looks so cute buttoned up or worn as more of a makeshift “jacket” over a tee or tank. I can’t wait to put it to good use when, again, the temperature here isn’t 105º. I took a medium.

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Happy long weekend!

—EGM