The 📖📺🎧🔪🛍️ List
What I'm reading, watching, listening to, making, and shopping
Hello and happy Monday, readers! It’s been a whole ass month since I’ve sent a typical free letter full of everything I’m reading, watching, listening to, making, and shopping, and so today, I’m dedicating the entirety of this letter to all of that because I have a lot to report on.
Side note: If you’re new here, I usually send free letters out on Fridays, but life has been busy and distracting in all the best ways and my lack of content-preparedness has taken a front seat. But no more.
READING 📖
I have been working on getting through Meghan Daum’s The Unspeakable for two months now. It’s not that it’s not great—it is. And she’s a phenomenal writer. It’s just that I haven’t made the time. But maybe that’s because I’m not entirely gripped by her essays. But that’s not true, because I am. I mean, by some of them at least. Regardless, I have exactly 30 pages left and plan to get those read this week. Meghan is a celebrated columnist who struggles with self-loathing and writes about being a non-foodie, the struggle of feeling like she should want kids when she doesn’t, the abysmal foster care system, Hollywood parties, and a particular chapter called “Honorary D*ke” that got her in a lot of hot water. If you appreciate talented writers and are willing to feel uncomfortable, I recommend this book.
All this to say, my brain is aching for some easy fiction, so I did something I never, ever do—I started a second book before I finished the one I’m currently reading. I’m not in the habit of doing this, so I felt like a bad girl last night in bed cracking open fresh pages under the warm glow of my amber-colored book light, but the deed is done. My palate cleanser of choice is called The Second Ending by Michelle Hoffman. It’s about an empty-nester piano prodigy who finds herself tickling the ivories again, and I think it’s going to be exactly what my brain needs after the heaviness of Daum’s essays. After this one, I plan to dive into Becca Freeman’s The Christmas Orphans Club that she sent me an advanced copy of before its official release in September!
WATCHING 📺
Find a cozy spot on the couch because The Millers have been watching a lot lately.
Tiptoes
Almost a month ago, Zac came home one day and asked me if I had ever heard of or seen the movie Tiptoes. I asked him to repeat the title no less than five times before saying no, I don’t think I’ve ever even heard of it. He went on to tell me he had heard a radio show riffing about it being the worst movie ever made, so we did what any normal couple would—we immediately pulled up the trailer on YouTube.
Yes, this is a real movie. No, it wasn’t meant to be a comedy or parody. Yes, it’s highly, highly disturbing and wrong on more levels than I have fingers to count. But did I go ahead and download it onto our iPad so we could watch it on our flight over to North Carolina last month? You bet your ass I did.
Tiptoes is—and I mean this with every fiber of my being—the worst movie I’ve ever seen. It has not one redeeming quality or moment—it’s just offensively bad. The acting. The writing. The plot. The commentary. That they refer to this as Gary Oldman’s “role of a lifetime” is too much. What’s more is that supposedly it was originally a 2.5 hour movie that, according to Peter Dinklage, was “beautiful” and an actual social commentary on little people but was “ruined” and cut down to a 90 minute train wreck. I don’t see how this movie could’ve ever been beautiful—it is truly an abomination on every level and I will never get that 90 minutes of my life back. In fact, while we were watching it mid-air on the way to Asheville, there was some bad turbulence and I had a moment of “OMG. I’m going to die in a plane crash while watching Tiptoes.” I had to take an Ativan.
A Man Called Otto
On the flip side, Tom Hanks did what he does best in this movie and made me cry very, very hard. This is *actually* a beautiful movie, and I highly recommend it if you need a good cry and/or a reminder that not all humanity is lost (just most of it).
Reality
This is a true story about a woman named Reality who leaked some top secret government info. It stars Sydney Sweeney in a very stripped down role (not literally, ironically) and a couple of other no-name actors I’ve never seen before. The approach is unique in that the entire script is based off the original police transcript, verbatim. There is nothing added or taken away; the actors hit every awkward pause and every filler “um” perfectly. Because it’s based off the transcript, there aren’t a lot of scene changes—it’s pretty much one location the entire movie. It wasn’t Zac’s favorite, but I found it interesting enough, and it was cool to see Sydney in such a different role.
They just don’t make comedies like they used to. They really don’t. This was painfully bad. They set Adam DeVine up as the overly-agreeable, Beta boyfriend who basically just screams bloody murder the entire movie, and it’s so god awful. Please don’t waste your time. You deserve better.
I have no idea how we ended up watching this ‘90s thriller about vampires, but we did and honestly? It wasn’t half bad. Sure, the CGI is laughable and Quentin Tarantino’s predatorial lines are unnecessary and disturbing, but it’s entertaining. It’s wild to see George Clooney lead in such an over-the-top action movie, but it’s even wilder to see Salma Hayek in her heyday because she was (still is) perfect. Her appearance is short-lived but extremely memorable. It’s a series, but I’m not sure we’ll watch the other two. One was enough.
We finished the comedy series Platonic on Apple TV and really liked it. I so appreciate that it stayed true to its name and idea the entire ride; never once was there even an inkling of sexual chemistry or tension between the female and male lead, and that was refreshing to see. It was a genuine story of two 40-something friends in two very different places in life both groping their way through the dark, helping and hurting each other along the way. I loved it and was very satisfied with the ending. Do I believe in platonic friendships? Not really, no. But this moved the dial for me just a little bit.
The After Party (season 1)
We randomly threw this on the other week and ended up binging it over a few nights because it’s very bingeable. It’s a cute show; an easy show. It’s a fun murder mystery starring a lot of great comedians and was highly entertaining. The one thing I’ll say is I didn’t love my girl Ilana Glazer in it? I just felt she didn’t shine, and I don’t know if it was her or her character or the script or her delivery, but it made me sad. I’m not sure we’ll watch season two, but if you’re looking for an easy, funny, whodunit show, it’s cute!
LOTR series
This doesn’t really deserve a spot on this list, but last weekend was a particularly anxious one for me and all I wanted to do was stay put on the couch and watch Lord of the Rings, so that’s what we did. And we didn’t just watch it—we watched all three EXTENDED versions. It took us from Friday until Sunday night to finish the series, and I loved every second of it. Fun fact: Did you know Elijah was only 20 when the first one came out?! I didn’t. I guess I didn’t realize how young he “made” it. He hasn’t done much since, and who could blame him?
LISTENING 🎧
The only podcast I genuinely care about right now is Ride with Benito Skinner and Mary Beth Barone. The fact that they’re not touring in Dallas or even Austin is keeping me up at night. They said they’re about to announce a few more cities, and I’m praying it’s one that’s drivable because I consider them my besties and I need to see them in person.
I also listen to Deux/U, the podcast from the fame celebrity gossip account, Deux Moi. It’s dumb as are all celebrity gossip accounts, but also entertaining, so why not? I love shit talking, so it fills the void in my otherwise drama-free life.
I still listen to Office Ladies every week, but they’re in season 8 now, and any Office fan knows that 8 & 9 were crimes against humanity. I’m still tuning into Finally every Monday, I pick and choose which episodes of Smartless I listen to, and same with Not Skinny But Not Fat. I did see that Pia Baroncini just released a personal episode about her daughter’s walking condition, so I’ll probably queue that one up in the near future. SO MANY PODCASTS, SO LITTLE TIME!
MAKING 🔪
I absolutely hate to admit this, but I made one of Half Baked Harvest’s recipes last week for dinner and it was fucking incredible. Here’s why I hate to admit that: a) because I’ve gone on record saying that her recipes are just the most and have 25 steps and ingredients and layers and it’s just too much, and b) I fully believe she is ill and it really concerns me and I don’t like feeling that I’m enabling her by making her recipes but not, like, advocating for her or like addressing that she needs help? Does that make sense? I know it’s an extremely sensitive topic, but I’m calling it like I see it, and that’s how I see it. It’s upsetting, and I can’t help but feel that me happily going about my life and making her recipes without acknowledging that she isn’t well is perpetuating the issue.
That said, this Crispy Honey Ginger Salmon bowl is truly one of the best most incredible dishes I’ve made at home in a while.
I also took all of our backyard cucumbers and made the most incredible dill pickles last month. I used this recipe, and it was perfect (I didn’t have coriander or mustard seeds, and they still turned out great).
SHOPPING 🛍️
A few weeks ago, I shared my favorite bra of all time and it went viral in my very small corner of the internet. So many of you trusted me, bought it, and have followed up saying it’s a godsend. It truly is. It’s the Barely Bra by Patagonia, and it’s just… perfect? A perfect, everyday bra. You basically forget you’re wearing anything, and that’s the only kind of bra I’m interested in. I have it in four colors and rotate them daily. For reference, I’m a 32DDD and take an XL (if they don’t have your size or color, check other sites!).
I’m really feeling nude nails this summer, which is a departure from my typical bright, bold pinks and greens. I love this Essie Expressie color in “Crop Top and Roll”—it’s a great pink nude, especially on tan skin!
I treated myself to new blue light frames/computer glasses and, every time I post a video while I’m wearing them, I get bombarded with “WHAT R THOSE GLASSES?!” DMs. They’re the Sonia in Aventurine Tortoise Fade, and they’re perfect.
ICYMI: I’ve had a lot of luck with Madewell dresses this season, which is saying a lot because I’ve sent back so many summer dresses this year. I have this dress in two colors (TTS), this one that’s so amazingly comfortable and roomy (oversized but TTS), and this one that is just so different and very adjustable via its side-ties (TTS). The only other summer dress I’ve found and loved so far is this hot pink one by Rails (currently on sale!).
The amount of wear I’ve already gotten from these Target tank tops is fucked up. I know it’s just a tank top, but it’s the perfect tank top. The fit is just right, the high neck is flattering, the racer back cut is great, and they’re $7. Like, need I say more? I am a true medium, and honest to god might buy every color.
Lastly, I wanted to give a shoutout to two Free People items that have been on heavy rotation for me this summer. First, these shorts. Yes, they’re $78 a pop, but they are such incredible shorts. I love that they’re roomy in the thighs, that they stretch a bit throughout the day, and how many colors they’re available in. A pair of these with a Target tank tucked in has been my summer uniform, and I’m sticking to it. They run big—size down one!
Second, these shortalls. I mean, what’s there to say? They’re short. They’re denim. They’re comfy as fuck. And THEY LOOK GREAT WITH THE TARGET TANK! (TTS)
Coming up on the paid side of things in the next few weeks:
Got It From My Mama (a newsletter curated and written by my mom, Ellen)
TIBAR (Things I Bought and Returned)
The Most Overhyped Popular Products, as told by my IG audience
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Until then,
—EGM
Man, I have felt the same way about Half Baked Harvest but felt too bad saying it. I do worry though!
PS thank you for the content and the (horrified) giggle from Tiptoes 🫶🏻