This hits. I didn’t go so far as to remove socials from my phone but on Dec 31 I put a 30 min timer on for socials. There’s a U. Penn article about how anything more than 30min/day is detrimental to our mental health. I was already feeling like I needed less time and that quantifiable evidence sent me over the edge. I’m still thinking about deleting altogether.
I’m cheering you on so hard for doing this and living a more intentional, happy life. The only part of this that I’ll miss is seeing how you say these things. Your personality shines through in your writing but you also have little nuanced expressions that were the reason I was drawn to you on IG. It was like spending time with my super funny, smart friend. Perhaps that part of you is reserved for those that actually know you now? How lucky they are.
i continue to analyze my relationship with it all and might get back on but in a much different way. i just went through and unfollowed HUNDREDS of people and accounts that don't serve me or i don't engage with, so that felt really good. i want to make the experience so much more curated for myself. we will see what happens!!!!!! thank you for your support and kind words.
I love the Substack letters! I would watch your instagram content at random breaks sandwiched in between other, less interesting content. The sandwiching may even have brought down your content- once you’re bored, you’re bored. With the letters, I sit down and read them. I’m focused, ready to enjoy some good writing. Really appreciating this switch in format from you and my other faves!
This spoke volumes to me. I used to have a Facebook account., during the Covid pandemic I shut it down due to so much drama, it was then I realized "no one cares". I no longer heard from people that I considered "friends". People that I had interacted with on a daily basis seemed to just disappear from my life and it was like I didn't exist. So while we may overshare online and people act like they care, it makes you wonder/realize do they really? With that being said, and sorry for the ramble. I have missed your presence on Instagram, sharing things you have bought, visited, made (I still want to bake the Butternut Bakery cookies you raved about), am glad to read these newsletters that you share, and to know that we share some of the same things.
you can always find me here and i will continue sharing all those things i used to vomit onto IG, but in a much more thoughtful, easy-to-find way. i love your revelation, too. it's weird that we get so worked up about online life only to realize it doesn't actually matter when you log off.
Fun fact- I love your content so much more through Substack and am resonating with it in a much more deep way now that it’s not on Instagram. I use to just buzz through it and yeah, I would enjoy it, but in this format I feel like I’m getting more of the real you than ever. Love that ❤️
Absolutely magnificent newsletter today. I love your writing so much. I am a chronic over-sharer like you. I could easily document my whole day and people would ask me how I would naturally do that (they were jealous because they were trying to build their account; I felt proud of this skill?!). I have been on a break since mid December. Damn it feels good and I never want to go back. But I still have the itch to watch other peoples lives. I’ve stooped low enough to google peoples IG names and check them on safari. I’m trying to stop that and just live my own life! It’s a real addiction though and hard to get off of and also hard to fill the void of having something suck you in and let you zone out!
OMG. same, Gina. people would wonder how i made my entire otherwise very mundane day seem so exciting, and it was a flex for me. i really enjoyed making the ordinary extraordinary and still do, but in a slowed down, not as urgent way via Substack. i totally get logging in via Safari - i have to get on IG for work almost daily but i just don't scroll or post (obviously). we've been so conditioned for the past 10+ years and you can't break bad habits overnight, but we're trying!
SPOT ON!! After my break-up with insta, I started only taking pictures of moments I wanted to remember. Most times the picture isn't great, but it's enough to take me right back to the moment and feeling.❤️ It's more important for me to live the moment than to document it for people who don't even care.
This year for my husband and I’s 1st anniversary, for “paper” i printed off all the photos of memories from our first year of marriage and then deleted most of them off my phone. It was important that we remember these moments, but now instead of saying “Hey, look at this pic… remember this?” on each of our phone screens, we get to sit down together and flip through the memories we made together. Thanks as always for sharing and I couldn’t agree more!
You can't even know how happy it makes me, that Freya 'spoke' to you. I have said for YEARS that you must keep some things for yourself. Not everybody needs to know everything all the time. Especially if you're working it so hard because you think they're standing by waiting for it. Which as Allie wisely pointed out...they ARE NOT. If you wouldn't listen to me, I'm glad you heard Freya and listened to your sister.
I hear everything you are saying. The other fact is that people used to post things they use and love in their daily lives and now it’s become so sus. Do they love it!? Do they actually use it?! And who the F cares.
One example and I won’t name names..😬 She used to be a regular person with a job (she did hair - so I loved her hair product recommendations, etc) who posted things she loved and tidbits about her real life. She gained a following and quit her job to focus on Insta so now all she does is that and her posts and pages (and even she, herself) looks just like thousands of other ‘influencers’ (God I hate that term.) Anyhow. I love IG and I am constantly culling and curating what I follow. If I scroll past something that give me an ick or makes me feel less than, I simply unfollow. I am sooo glad I still have you on Substack. 💖💕🥂
yes yes. it's a very fine line between sharing because you really, truly, authentically want to.. and sharing because you feel you have to and need/want the attention and validation. i love that you are no-nonsense and simply unfollow. we all need to practice that a little more.
This hits. I didn’t go so far as to remove socials from my phone but on Dec 31 I put a 30 min timer on for socials. There’s a U. Penn article about how anything more than 30min/day is detrimental to our mental health. I was already feeling like I needed less time and that quantifiable evidence sent me over the edge. I’m still thinking about deleting altogether.
I’m cheering you on so hard for doing this and living a more intentional, happy life. The only part of this that I’ll miss is seeing how you say these things. Your personality shines through in your writing but you also have little nuanced expressions that were the reason I was drawn to you on IG. It was like spending time with my super funny, smart friend. Perhaps that part of you is reserved for those that actually know you now? How lucky they are.
i continue to analyze my relationship with it all and might get back on but in a much different way. i just went through and unfollowed HUNDREDS of people and accounts that don't serve me or i don't engage with, so that felt really good. i want to make the experience so much more curated for myself. we will see what happens!!!!!! thank you for your support and kind words.
I love the Substack letters! I would watch your instagram content at random breaks sandwiched in between other, less interesting content. The sandwiching may even have brought down your content- once you’re bored, you’re bored. With the letters, I sit down and read them. I’m focused, ready to enjoy some good writing. Really appreciating this switch in format from you and my other faves!
thank you so much, Sarah!!! this means the world to me, truly. i will do my best to keep captivating you!
I so look forward to your substack posts...make sure your newsletters include links to all your favorite things...you have great taste! xoxo
i will! always!!!!
This spoke volumes to me. I used to have a Facebook account., during the Covid pandemic I shut it down due to so much drama, it was then I realized "no one cares". I no longer heard from people that I considered "friends". People that I had interacted with on a daily basis seemed to just disappear from my life and it was like I didn't exist. So while we may overshare online and people act like they care, it makes you wonder/realize do they really? With that being said, and sorry for the ramble. I have missed your presence on Instagram, sharing things you have bought, visited, made (I still want to bake the Butternut Bakery cookies you raved about), am glad to read these newsletters that you share, and to know that we share some of the same things.
you can always find me here and i will continue sharing all those things i used to vomit onto IG, but in a much more thoughtful, easy-to-find way. i love your revelation, too. it's weird that we get so worked up about online life only to realize it doesn't actually matter when you log off.
“Fuck, phone LIVES first.” This. Brilliant, Emma
thank you ❤️❤️❤️
This is everything 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 thank you for this.
🤗🩷
Fun fact- I love your content so much more through Substack and am resonating with it in a much more deep way now that it’s not on Instagram. I use to just buzz through it and yeah, I would enjoy it, but in this format I feel like I’m getting more of the real you than ever. Love that ❤️
this just made my entire day/week/month. maybe even my year. thank you SO much, Ruth. this means... well. i can't really even find the words for it.
This is good!
Absolutely magnificent newsletter today. I love your writing so much. I am a chronic over-sharer like you. I could easily document my whole day and people would ask me how I would naturally do that (they were jealous because they were trying to build their account; I felt proud of this skill?!). I have been on a break since mid December. Damn it feels good and I never want to go back. But I still have the itch to watch other peoples lives. I’ve stooped low enough to google peoples IG names and check them on safari. I’m trying to stop that and just live my own life! It’s a real addiction though and hard to get off of and also hard to fill the void of having something suck you in and let you zone out!
OMG. same, Gina. people would wonder how i made my entire otherwise very mundane day seem so exciting, and it was a flex for me. i really enjoyed making the ordinary extraordinary and still do, but in a slowed down, not as urgent way via Substack. i totally get logging in via Safari - i have to get on IG for work almost daily but i just don't scroll or post (obviously). we've been so conditioned for the past 10+ years and you can't break bad habits overnight, but we're trying!
SPOT ON!! After my break-up with insta, I started only taking pictures of moments I wanted to remember. Most times the picture isn't great, but it's enough to take me right back to the moment and feeling.❤️ It's more important for me to live the moment than to document it for people who don't even care.
YES! yes. yes.
This year for my husband and I’s 1st anniversary, for “paper” i printed off all the photos of memories from our first year of marriage and then deleted most of them off my phone. It was important that we remember these moments, but now instead of saying “Hey, look at this pic… remember this?” on each of our phone screens, we get to sit down together and flip through the memories we made together. Thanks as always for sharing and I couldn’t agree more!
this is such a romantic, lovely idea!!!
You can't even know how happy it makes me, that Freya 'spoke' to you. I have said for YEARS that you must keep some things for yourself. Not everybody needs to know everything all the time. Especially if you're working it so hard because you think they're standing by waiting for it. Which as Allie wisely pointed out...they ARE NOT. If you wouldn't listen to me, I'm glad you heard Freya and listened to your sister.
the "standing by, waiting for it" notion is self diluted and something i used to truly believe until i realized... NO ONE CARES. i love you!
Oh the Nashville filter!! Love!! ❤️
I hear everything you are saying. The other fact is that people used to post things they use and love in their daily lives and now it’s become so sus. Do they love it!? Do they actually use it?! And who the F cares.
One example and I won’t name names..😬 She used to be a regular person with a job (she did hair - so I loved her hair product recommendations, etc) who posted things she loved and tidbits about her real life. She gained a following and quit her job to focus on Insta so now all she does is that and her posts and pages (and even she, herself) looks just like thousands of other ‘influencers’ (God I hate that term.) Anyhow. I love IG and I am constantly culling and curating what I follow. If I scroll past something that give me an ick or makes me feel less than, I simply unfollow. I am sooo glad I still have you on Substack. 💖💕🥂
yes yes. it's a very fine line between sharing because you really, truly, authentically want to.. and sharing because you feel you have to and need/want the attention and validation. i love that you are no-nonsense and simply unfollow. we all need to practice that a little more.
Also “Phone eats first, feels first. Fuck, phone LIVES first” is terrifying and so true
Wow I loved this! It means so much that my piece resonated with you!
thank YOU for inspiring it. your piece is one i'll revisit 100 times, i'm sure.