The 📖📺🎧🔪🛍️ List
Several new recipes, some non-clothing buys, and a lesson in hardcore parenting
Every day of seventh and eighth grade, I straightened my hair. This was between 1999-2001, so stick straight hair was in and I obviously had to do whatever it took to fit in, even if that meant taking the clunky ass, 20 pound Conair hair straightener to my curls and damaging them for two years straight. It was a way of life.
Right before my 8th grade graduation and subsequent formal entrance into society (AKA high school), I did something to piss off my mom so bad, she took my straightener away. To this day, neither of us can remember what I said or did that made her angry enough to punish me with my own curls, but this hardcore parenting is something I’ve always admired about my mom. She did the same when, around the age of 7, I went searching for our hidden Christmas presents, found them all, admitted my discovery to her because the guilt was too much to bear, and she
TOOK
THEM
ALL
BACK.
Yes, you read that right. She returned every single one of my presents that year. Ellen Golden was never and is still never fucking around. I’m pretty sure she invented the phrase “Fuck around and find out.” When she decided on a punishment, she didn’t budge so I knew I was up shit’s curly ass creek without a straightener for the most important moment of my life to date (my 8th grade graduation ceremony).
I cannot stress enough that I really, truly had no idea how to deal with my curls when I was 13. I was lost. So I did what any sensible 8th grader would do — I brushed them out, pulled them back into the tightest low ponytail that I could, and held my head high. And do you know how my mom rewarded me by taking this punishment so gracefully?
With the Billy Elliot DVD (my absolute obsession at the time).
This is when my journey with my curls began. At 13. It’s been nearly 24 years since my mom took away my straightener and forced me to face the music of my own genes, and what a wild ride it’s been. Curls are not easy — they are finicky, sensitive, stubborn as hell, and no two are made alike. From ninth grade on, I wore my hair natural and, over the past 23 years, have tried hundreds of hair products and techniques. I’ve visited many hairstylists, some who were curly hair experts and some who only claimed to be. I’ve grown them out, cut them off, gotten bangs, revisited blow outs — I’ve turned over every proverbial stone in search of the right products, method, and cut for me.
And by George, I found it last weekend with Haiya Rodriguez of HER Curls Studio.
I wrote in depth about my experience with her in this past Monday’s Weekend Digress, so I won’t be going into detail here. But know this — she is a godsend. After one visit with her and 24 years of searching, I now have the products and technique I’ve been looking for basically my entire life and feel… powerful.
I don’t remember the last time I said “I LOVE MY HAIR” to myself, and I’ve been saying it for a week straight now. The pictures above are after my first wash day at home (yesterday), and I am in shock with the results. Any red-blooded female knows that loving what you see when you look in the mirror is the ultimate act of defiance, and I am DEFYING, henny.
If you live in Dallas or LA or Atlanta or New York and you have curly hair and you need a guru, book Haiya immediately. She will change your life.
READING
You *probably* saw my essay about this essay this week, but in case you didn’t, I implore you to read them both as you head into the weekend.
My longtime friend, Kaitlyn Coffee, is the genius behind Harris Vintage, and she also hates — like literally HATES — throw pillows. She’s gone on enough rants about this deep hostility toward what she feels to be a worthless piece of decor that D Magazine interviewed her about it and it’s a really fun read.
WATCHING
You Are What You Eat: A Twin Experiment
Twins are just fascinating, aren’t they? In this Netflix series, they take several sets of identical twins and put one on an omnivore diet and one on a vegan diet then see what happens. Maybe I’m easily convinced, but the results have me questioning my meat consumption in a BIG way. The benefits of being plant-based are, from what I can tell, pretty inarguable (we’re talking the eradication of visceral fat, higher sexual arousal, amongst many other benefits), so I’m experimenting with veggie-forward dishes at home, which you’re about to witness via my “Making” section of this week’s list. I’m not saying I’m done with meat, but I *am* saying meat may become more of an “every once in a while” thing as opposed to all the time.
We’ve been watching this season of Fargo for the last several weeks, and I was waiting for the finale to write it up here. This season was all about strong female leads and weak, oblivious, angry men, and it was beautiful. Juno Temple carried the show so well as the main character, and Jon Hamm made a perfect piece of shit husband. Jennifer Jason Leigh’s plastic surgery or whatever she’s had done to her face is distracting, but not enough to realize what a force she is as her character, and Sam Spruell’s ancient, immortalized hitman steals every scene he’s in. Also, Winston from New Girl is in it! It’s a great season, very powerful, and highly entertaining. Content warning, though, for domestic abuse/violence.
Zac and I looooove our ‘90s movies. Neither of us had seen Wag the Dog (1998), so we randomly decided to watch it one night this week. The premise is that the president is involved in a sex scandal 11 days before the election, so a spin team comes in to distract the general public from the scandal so they’ll forget all about it and still vote for him. It’s a dark comedy, and it’s hilarious yet slightly terrifying because the premise and all the lying and manipulation that takes places behind the scenes to protect the president feels… familiar. Robert De Niro is the spin team captain, and Dustin Hoffman plays a big time Hollywood producer who stages a fake war with Albania and considers it the best work he’s ever done. It goes off the rails at one point, but that’s to be expected. We really enjoyed it.
We watched this 3.5 hour movie in stages. One night for an hour and a half, the next for another hour and a half, then finally one more night for the 28 remaining minutes. This movie is extremely depressing and frustrating. If you’re unfamiliar with the plot, it’s a true story about the Osage tribe finding oil in Oklahoma and coming into a lot of money because of it, and one white man’s (Robert De Niro) mission to kill them all off one by one and collect the fortune. Leo plays a dumb-as-rocks WWI veteran whose lack of intelligence leads to him being very easily taken advantage of and manipulated, and it’s beyond frustrating to witness. He plays it extremely well (they way his underbite is locked in the entire time made me wonder if his jaw was in serious pain throughout the process), but it’s a very different role from his typical Scorsesian character. Lily Gladstone was amazing, but she was no Carey Mulligan in Maestro. And we all know how I feel about her. It was a good movie but probably didn’t need to be as long as it was. That’s my final word on it.
MAKING
Like I said, I’ve been going heavy-veggie in the kitchen this week, so here’s what I made and loved:
Vegan Banana Bread — I was so sure this was gonna taste like ass or, at the very least, be incredibly dry. Wrong on both accounts. It’s very good, and I’m still munching on it!
Chana Masala – Ho.ly. shit. This was incredible. Zac and I couldn’t stop raving about it to each other. If you love Indian food and spices, you must make this ASAP. I served it over brown rice and it was beyond delicious. Can’t wait to make it again!
Black Bean Stuffed Sweet Potatoes — I loved this; Zac said it was maybe “a little too healthy.” LOL. The “fiesta salad” the goes on top of the sweet potato was so good and would taste equally as amazing over some cilantro lime rice if that’s more your speed. I really enjoyed this dish and was extremely full from it!
SHOPPING
I have a big Abercrombie and Sézane order en route to me right now, so I’ll cover those next week. This week was all about grocery store finds (for the most part):
I am obsessed with all Poppi soda. It’s just really good when you want something but don’t necessarily want a can of sugar. I tried their latest flavor, “Doc,” which is like their take on a Dr. Pepper and it is surprisingly good. So good, in fact, I loaded up our mini fridge with them!
My sister alerted me to these limited time Hershey’s Kisses called Roses. They’re only around for Valentine’s Day, and they are… really fucking good. The center is meltaway chocolate, and I DARE you to have just 1 or 2. I got two bags to be safe.
I feel like I’m always trying to find a really solid store brand salsa. I grabbed a jar of Whole Foods 365 Organic Thick & Chunky Hot Salsa, and it’s pretty damn great. Perfect amount of heat, great consistency, and good price. It may be our new go-to.
I’m also always looking for better-for-you desserts, and these Caramel Brownie Greek Yogurt bars by Enlightened are SO GOOD? I didn’t expect them to be as tasty as they are; I was legit moaning while eating it. The flavors are potent, and it does not feel or taste like you’re eating Greek yogurt. 10/10 recommend! I found them at our local Sprouts.
The only clothing thing I’m gonna throw out this week is that if you’re a girl mom/aunt/grandma/whatever and she’s of the right age, you need to get her this Valentine’s set from Target. Do it for me, please. I walked by it and legit cursed under my breath “I fucking want that.” It’s so amazing.
I’ll meet you here next Friday for more. Until then, have a great weekend!
— EGM
Ditto on the plant-forward after watching that Netflix series. Have you watched May December yet? The premise is a bit unnerving but Natalie Portman’s performance gave me chills. She’s up there with Carey this year, IMO.
Oh Emma I did what I always do, and read thru so quickly that it didn't register that you DID mention you must have done something major before your 8th grade graduation but couldn't remember what it was. HARD ASS MOMMA is just an ASS MOMMA and needs to slow down when reading. Yikes. Sorry.